As I paint, I ponder. My mind runs over all the books I have read, the films I have seen, the podcasts I have listened to the groups I have been involved with, the things I have been told the information I have been fed. I look at our current situation with non-attachment and see countless possibilities of what this is all about. Countless unknowns, so many books so many films, it’s quite phenomenal how the story rolls out. There are so many stories to tell, so many possible outcomes. Nothing is fixed.
To be sitting here in 2020 in self isolation in the midst of this so called highly contagious pandemic is something I have only ever engaged in fantasy with. Now its in real time. Its almost unbelievable. Not only did it happen just like that, but it happened everywhere. Who would have thought? Its always been a possibility but who would have thought our nice safe little worlds would be rocked so much.
I have been going on for years and years about our need to wake up, and have had many a conversation with ‘thinking out of the box’ friends about how waking up might occur globally. We often came to the conclusion that the only way for mass awakening would be for some such event like this to take place. But I didn’t honestly expect it would happen in my lifetime, although there was always the possibility that something would.
I see from social media that there is a huge amount of different information being posted by different groups and individuals. Blame is being put on different people and places and what might seem to many as crazy ideas, are being spread forth at a rate of knots, all having a dot that joins them up somewhere if one takes the time and effort to look.
Personally, I think blaming at this time, (and in these later days snitching on your neighbor) is counterproductive to the situation we are facing and only increases division concerning our own beliefs.We are all being pushed into fear zones to lesser or greater degrees, that might be hardly noticeable or totally overwhelming. This is happening on a daily basis for all of us. Our comfort zones are disintegrating rapidly.
Things I know about comfort zones
Some years ago, I remember coming into the front room where a friend and my partner were talking and laughing together, and I was literally knocked back by the force I felt. I knew that something just wasn’t right. I knew it right deep within, and although I was convinced by them otherwise, this later proved to be correct. My gut feeling was right.
Today (during the first week of March) as I came into the kitchen having come from my studio where I had been happily painting, far away from current affairs and worries, I was met by the newsreader on the radio whose wavelengths hit me with an unseen force.
I went from blissfully happy to full of fear in seconds. The newscaster’s fear-filled voice had an immediate effect which was followed by his doom-filled words. I must say I was shocked at my response in that instant.
What is all this news doing to me I wondered afterward? Have I become addicted in a way? Is it affecting my way of thinking? That was three weeks ago. Today I cannot listen to the continuous blah blah of information. I have to turn it off. It’s really getting to me.
If we are in this situation for another four weeks, I dread to think what the outcome might be. I see it is this continual bombardment of ‘news’ that is damaging my health, not the bloody virus.
(Written on 5 March)